Why I Friend-Zoned You

*sigh*

I'm really tired of the complaints from the "Friend Zone".

No. Please. Continue rattling on about these video vixens that you are gunnin' for.

It's not the Friend Zone isn't real; Oh, it's very real, and honestly, women get friend zoned WAY more than men.  The thing is...it's all about WHO is friend zoning WHO and WHY.

I've friend zoned guys for a few reasons and when I get to talking to some women, I find that they had the same reasons as well.  So, without further adieu, here are a few reasons why you got "Friend Zone."

1) I told you when we MET I wasn't looking for a serious relationship.
You saw me in the club. You complimented me. I complimented you. We had a drink. Danced a bit. And while we have a nice connection, I told you via text THAT NIGHT that I wasn't looking for a serious commitment.  I told you that while we could chill, I don't want anything heavy; Dinner (maybe). Movies (occasionally). Sex (yes please). But nothing serious. Yet you continue to ask "What are we?" or "Where is this headed?"  So yes. I friend zoned you out of peace of mind because you were becoming a bug a boo (Kelly Rowland head roll) and you had no respect for my space.

2) She was probably out of your (mental) league.
I'm not talking about your standards of money or status.  I'm talking about your mental.  See, MOST times, before a guy hollers at a woman, he does a QUICK background check, if it's as simple as "Yo, homey. Who is shorty with the fat ass?"  Now, I know from EXPERIENCE that if a woman is a gold digger, a tease, or anything of that nature, ya'll will tell it.  So if a homeboy says "Yo man. She's a bit of an academic. She's not going for simplistic, basic shit", and you know that you are a basic, simplistic ass cat.....well....yea. You'll get friend zoned.  Us academic girls want to talk about more than pop culture and sex (although those two things are VERY fun to discuss) and let's be real; if you can't keep up mentally, you'll definitely lack everywhere else.

3) You're An Asshole.
No explanation needed. Women like Alpha Males. Not assholes.  And chances are, you're the worst type of asshole: You don't know when to turn that mess OFF.

4) Three Words: "Homey, I'm Taken."
Let's be COMPLETELY real. A lot of the men complaining that they are in the friend zone were zoned by women in a relationship. Whether her relationship is on the outs, in good standing, or in between, she is committed to someone. See, a lot of men suffer from the same disease some women suffer from: IWantittis (pronounced i-Want-it-tis); like toddlers, they only want things when they see someone else playing with it. That same girl was single for YEARS, and the moment she got a man, suddenly you discover where you "lost" her number and you hit her with the "hey stranger".  You set yourself up to be friend, counselor, helper to a woman whose heart belongs elsewhere to begin with. Then you wonder why she calls you her "best friend" and gets her back blown out by a dude who barely remembers her birthday.

Wanna get out the friend zone? Be yourself. Listen to what people say. And for Christ's sake, stop shooting for women who are committed, even if it's half hearted commitment. You'll fair a lot better.