If I Say I'm Pro-Sex

When I say that I'm "Pro-Sex", what's the first word that you think of?  Or when a woman says she is sex positive - what string of words or sentences pops into the cerebrum?  Depending on who you are, you may think that she is a "hoe" or even (gasp) a "Thot."  Let's face it - fifteen years ago, you'd never hear a song about a man giving a woman head, and if you did, it would be so heavily metaphoric that you would have to decipher the code to understand that 'Hey. He just said he'd perform oral sex on her!'

And must we be reminded of the shocked that occurred when emcees like Lil' Kim and Foxy Brown began to openly talk about sex, their expectations and how it should be? Oh, let's go further back. Salt and Pepa, anyone?  Man, to think that those were the opening stages for a lot of young women's sexual questions (mine included because um - I wanted to know what a cock was) - and this was almost twenty years ago.

But even with this open shift of talking about eating booties and eating a woman until she cries, there is still little room for a woman to be open and frank about her sexuality, her appetite, and her prowess.  You'd think it was still 1996 and the Lil' Kim had made another head reference on a mainstream track.  Even Miss 65 Million Sold, Nicki Minaj, has had to take heat for her lyrics and overall sexual nature  - But why?

People view sex one of two ways - if you talk about sex too openly, you aren't wife(y) material and therefore, anything that is said can be dismissed with a simple wave of the fingers and a delete of the comment.  Or, she gets the DM slide.  Do I really have to explain the DM slide? Ok. The DM slide is when a guy or girl comes into your private messages, without warning, so they can proposition sexual situations or conversation.  Most are pretty harmless.  But many are predatory and vulgar.  Extremely. Vulgar.

But I digress.

I find it interesting how we have to remain respectable.  How we as women, even in 2015, have to act as if sex is not a fun act - something that even now we aren't supposed to be able to enjoy, much less discuss outside of....I don't know....knitting circles and "girl time" get together.  Eleanor Roosevelt once told her daughters that sex was needed, but cumbersome, situation, geared toward the pleasure of the man - and for the most part, she was right.  Mainstream didn't talk about the woman's sexual pleasure until the 60s, but by then, it was engrained in us that "Ladies" don't talk about the bedroom.  That "Ladies" don't discuss not being pleased.  Simply put - a person who has a vagina has no say so in the implementation of pleasure or sexual activity. 

But that's not the scary part, because people in general are not comfortable with others being open and honest about the dirty deeds that we do between the sheets.  What's scary is that there is an open push against the education and furthering of women's reproductive rights.  It's concerning.  I can only have baby on the terms of others - how is that freedom? How is that motherhood? Or womanhood for that matter.  Even when it comes to who speaks for us, we can't.  A few years ago, a panel went in front of the Senate to discuss the issues dealing with women's health, and the panel was ALL MEN.  Not. A. Pussy. In. Sight.  And trust me, when discussing those things that are sex positive and pro sex, women's health is important.  Just as important, if not more so, than what makes her quiver.  Dig me?

But look - questions? Comments?  We will be discussing Men's sexual health too (Guest blogger in mind?  Just give him my information)  Let's just call me the Hood Dr. Ruth (I just cracked myself up from that image LMAO).  If I don't know the answer, I can find it.  If I can't find it - you may have stumbled on something.